Dear Diary (somehow this sounds very endearing ha-ha),

and so i just came back from The Wedding Game movie after school last night. some very amusing parts but it’s a teeny bit boring and draggy at the end. school almost filled my entire day.. with maths and poa lectures. seats were half-filled cuz some of the students were still away in their countries. lectures were sleepy and we were plainly just scribbling whatever the lecturers were scribbling. but maths got better.. probably cuz i understood the lesson, which for i’m glad.

i think cliques are funny. the group of friends you surround yourself with, every single day, probably should be whom you like, right? funnily enough, i dont like mine. (okay, not that i think they like me, in fact i think we all feel the same way, but whatever) today, they should be somewhere gambling and having a laugh somewhere tucked at one of the girl’s house — an affair which a friend and i decided that it’s something worth missing for. it’s not like we like gambling! i dont even played with poker cards or mahjong (i only like building houses with them, childishly) so if i did go, you’ll certainly find me with the remote control in my hands, fiddling with the buttons in a bored-out way. — we just dont click, plain and simple. this is why i dont really understand why Mum was quite persistent about wanting me to go and have fun. i mean, sure, i would definitely go if it’s fun but why go to somewhere where you’re very certain that you wont be having any? just call me a outcast, anyday. sometimes, i think i live better being in tiny groups than a big one like this consisting of people whom i dont like hanging out with.

the point of this whole chunk of paragraph? i didnt go. dont want to. dont even feel like. they’ll definitely be yakking about how anti-social we’re being, but we’re not. we’re just tired of pretending to enjoy ourselves. i very much prefer the way i spend my today: watching Bridget Jones’s Diary and Freaky Friday with Jas, and out to the mall to catch InkHeart. and shopping! omg, did i mention that i got a very nice cardi for just 5 bucks? a belt for $12? and my current-favourite cleansing gel for $12 due to a sale? *swoons* managed to do some laundry — folding and hanging them out! :)

Inkheart fascinates me :) though the reviews arent fantastic enough to suit me, i still think it’s a movie worth watching! we love it! i’m now going to immense myself in the book and start comparing hehe.

i think old movies are soooooo much nicer sometimes!

these two days of CNY more or less bored me almost to tears.. half the time i found myself falling asleep on someone else’s sofa!! it just isnt even fun anymore. and the food doesnt please me as i thought it would after all. same old, same old. every stupid cny. even the ang paos failed to cheer me up cuz the amount is just enough for me to pay for my contacts. oh, i’m being such a ungrateful whiner, am i not? i.am.just.arent.very.fond.of.my.freaking.relatives. — on the other side.

tomorrow is back to school! just aweeesome-ness.

oooh, i’ve caught Bride Wars yesterday and it’s pretty good. :)

 

sigh-ed. been pretty messed-up over my ridiculously-behind schoolwork. and it’s always either school and no money, or money but no school. you cant have both when you’re me. this sucks, you know.

and so i went to buy a quite expensive drugstore shampoo called Nizoral, costing me $25 from Guardian. (really expensive for a shampoo that size if you asked me) desperate times calls for desperate measures, what to do. THEN i dropped by FEP’s Watsons today and realized they’re selling it for $22.90! i feel very cheated now. i’m cursing to myself at my stupidity of not checking the prices before handing over the plastic card. ARGHHH.

next, i finally finally have my eyebrows tweezed and plucked by professional hands. the usual rate is $15, but due to the busy CNY period, it now cost $18. ignorant me shouldnt have picked a so last minute time to do my brows!! double ARGHHH. i’m feel even more cheated now! and, it’s not like the end results of my eyebrows is so amazing.. i’ve seen better brows above my eyes thank you very much. sure, they did wish me a happy new year with a free gift of a red paper bag and two oranges inside — but still…

what a day.

on the way home, i even fell asleep on the bus and i think i alarmed the passenger sitting behind me by smacking my head onto the railing very loudly heehee. then i proceeded to pretend that the smack hasnt wake me up. gosh i must have look like an idiot…

i’m soooo gonna source for a new pimple cream tomorrow!

tomorrow = last day of school till thursday :)

 

GOSH I WANNA WATCH INKHEART! (have borrowed the book to read and it looks pretty nice..)

i’m driving myself crazy trying to find a anti-dandruff shampoo that really works for me. so far, all the bottles that lined at pharmacy stores are all bullshit products. i’m pretty upset by the amount of money i’ve spent on useless shampoos. i think they actually made my hair worse that it already looks. big big sigh. i think i will probably drop by Guardian and demand some help.

and speaking of pharmacies, i need to re-stock my expensive contact lens solution.. why is money always bidding goodbye to me!!

we went to PS to catch Rachel’s Getting Married today, after econs tuturial. i dont really understand why all the reviews are giving it a 4-5 stars but i think i will only give it a 2. if subtitles is included, i’ll probably give another star! why are movies all now subtitles-less it makes me crazy, argh.

tomorrow is tuesday, which gives me something more to be cheerful about. oh by the way, i’ve finished The Host a few days ago, and did i mention.. ? i love love it. it’s amazing. :)

Things To Be Done Before CNY:
- tweeze eyebrows
- paint toenails
- try the new straightener in case it burn my hair on the actual day itself
- top up my ez-link

"Love is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that binds us together."

i feel that my stomach is on the floor and somebody is stomping on it with heels. darn the bee hoon with otah lunch that i had this afternoon. now, my tummy simply feels that is is rolling around in flames. the burning feel you know? very very uncomfortable and i’m feeling slightly nauseous now.. i just went to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth with Oral-B hoping to remove the disgusting aftertaste leftover. yuck.

am also feeling that my hormones is over-frying.. a very pissed off day full of pissed-off moments.

the most annoying thing: the crampy train and seatless bus. - why is the trains always so bloody crammed on saturdays? and for lucky, lucky old me, it’s a school day for me.

the next annoying thing: why is my supposedly cute nephew not so cute anymore these days? he is so proud, demanding and unreasonable now, screaming all over the place when things dont go his way; totally ignoring me when i was outside the door, my hands full of stuff and i was asking for the key nicely; whining, crying, yelling and stomping his feet to watch the living room TV when we offered to let him watch in the rooms cuz we wanted to watch SCV, which is only available on the living room TV. sigh. he is turning into this impossible little monster. i want my baby back.

the next next annoying thing: my pink ruffles pink top came. i was happy.. then disappointed when i discovered that the ruffles arent identical on both sides. the left is fuller than the right. the perfection gene in my body kicked in. i emailed the seller and it turns out that she has no more pieces to exchange. all she can do for me is to give me a discount of 4 bucks. whoopie whoop. now i’m just going to look weird and even more unattractive for CNY. great.

i’m getting all wobbly at the thought of CNY just round the corner next week. feeling all sad, yet trying to sound like i cant wait for the day to arrive. it’s hard being bright and chirpily cheerful when you simply just feel like going one corner over there to sulk. and sulked deeply that’s it. i’m being such a whiny baby. i want to be mature and grow up and accept things while letting the burdens weighing on my shoulders go. i want to remember only the good things and try to avoid the weirdness and loneliness feelings that seem to wash over me again and again. i want to be a happier person. i miss the out-going, sociable side of me. but she seem to be there no longer. these days i very much prefer to curl up in my world with a book.

school hasnt been going extremely well. envy is a sin. not feeling confident enough feels like shit. it makes me just want to hang my head down and wish for all attention diverted away from me. it got worse to the point that i wish i was invisible and i can just come and go.

the angry bumps on my U-zone arent helping. does my face needs anymore ugly-fying? jeez.

this seems like such a depressed entry.

i planned to be a much happier person this year. seems like i’m wishing for the same old thing every year. that never seem to happen.

motivation… please give me motivation..

leg cramping. homework very lagged behind. stomach in flames. shitty skin. unfriendly nephew. stress of exams. piling stack of unread library books. strained friendships brewing merrily. uncut toenails. big sum of contact lens fees pending. messy bed strewn with bundle of clothes tangled up. boyfriendless life, making people think i’m an unwanted weirdo - perhaps that’s true. lack of sleep. unpaid credit card bills. irritating sister dragging us into her every wedding plan whatsoever. discovery of an wrinkle in my forehead. stressing with Mum over money problems. exams deadline in may. motivation all gone…

life, is looking rather bleak at the moment.

i miss my Dad terribly.

hmm, getting sick of this layout yes i am. gah!

tuesday is supposed to be one of the best days in the week, excluding friday but my tuesday is kinda ruined now cuz i only get to be alone now. where is my peace?!!! i seriously dont like my well-planned day all spoiled with more noises and less privacy. but okay, at least they had all gone out now..

results received last week. besides Econs, i managed to scrape through the other 3 tests. just barely actually, but at least the results are slightly better than Test 1. i need to work harder. somehow, i lacked motivation.

wedding dinner on last friday. very boring. i paled in comparision with my pretty cousin. sucky food - i only like the cod fish. pretty bride, pretty door-gifts, pretty toilets, free car rides — that’s about it. and oh yeah, very very sucky wine. perhaps it’s just unappreciative to me haha!

school still sucks. i hate mondays cuz i got an extra class other people dont have, but i loved it that i have tuesdays off due to the extra class. contradicting, yes?

cny is almost next week. i got a pink top and another pink (okay, fuschia) top for both days. very original huh. i just need to pick up some more accessories and i think i’m all done. Mum doesnt seems too pleased with my shoes collection (very limited to me though) so i think i’ll just stick with my new sandals. frankly speaking, the only other thing i’m looking forward to this CNY is the movies at night :)

hmm, earl grey tea is nice. i had it just about any other day when i got time to sit down to enjoy my breakfast. :) and bolo bao is a nice addition!

i realllyyyy enjoy Sookie Stackhouse books! the nicest thing i’ve discovered this year – so far.

i’m quite excited about econs now cuz we learned something new during yesterday lecture that i understood. happy yes?

 

bumps have beginning to appear at my chin area. oh please dont let it be a major breakout!!!!!

feel that today is a miracle day. makes me think that perhaps there is still hope in me afterall. got back our maths paper during the lecture and i thought i will definitely, definitely flunk. but yours truly did pass! it was not merely passing, but an acceptable average mark. i was happy of course, exhilarated even — until – a glance at my friends’ results pin-points how poor my results actually is, in comparision. but nevertheless, it is still a miracle that i pass, so be thankful, you ungrateful girl!! (:

THANK GOD.

ran a few errands — pay exams fees of $1254, deposit money, dumped cheque, top-up fare cards, collect 3 of my reserved books, and got my hair conditioner and cream. Sookie Stackhouse: #1 Dead Until Dark is finally here!!!! i wanted to watch the TV series, renamed True Blood but the video was downloading soooo slowly.

still having the CNY outfits dilemma. if this carries on, i might be considering wearing rags instead. hee-haw.

NO SCHOOL FOR TOMORROW!

-jumps around-

technically a tiring day, excuse me for not getting incredibly excited or hyped-up for Econs earlier in a monday morning - the first day back in hell after 2 weeks of pure, sweet heaven. but okay, at least now i’m back in reality - i should be - since our dear lecturer wrote a big fat 130 DAYS on the whiteboard.. which will be the number of days left till our Econs paper. the real exam mind you. i could feel my heart expanding and contracting in fits just then… i want to go back to my unrealistic, safe world. :(

with the stress of schoolwork hovering close above my head, i’m also stressing over the variety on CNY clothes to pick. should i get something outrageously red which i’ll probably just end up wearing once/something sweet and very simple/something black and red/ something Mum would love.. ? argh why am i even worry about something so insignificant? i should just buy whatever i like. but the problem is i like all of it.

browse-browse-browse. think-think-think. ponder somemore..

this aint working. blue or pink? quick!!!!!

.
.
.

one of my sister picked pink and the other chose blue. -faints-

*

okay enough, i’ll re-consider tomorrow.

today i lugged back a big bag crammed with my *new* Vichy day and night moisturiser — costing me a bomb of $78. of course, to some people, this amount is probably pennies.. but to me, it took me quite alot of beating about the bush, sneaking looks at the Vichy counter longingly, one minute deciding to just leave, and the next thing i know, i was already at the counter chatting with the promoter. and the moment she whisked out the 2 products, i know my money is already in her hands. sigh, my $78! i can buy like, 3-4 tops with that money and the bottles are sooo tiny i doubt it’ll last me as long as 3 months as she promised. but i got a free straightener cuz the cashier managed to con me into spending another extra 2 bucks. i’m so gullible, what to do. but i’m excited about my new purchases!! i wont be wasting money *chants a million times* - dang i’m so broke.

recently, amazon.com is my favourite online hangout. i love reading book reviews, god why am i such a nerd. i scroll through the list of bestsellers and one particular vampire series caught my eye - Sookie Stackhouse! i need something to fill in the empty Twilight spaces.. :( Sookie Stackhouse seems very Anita Blake (one of my favourites vampire series until the author decides to focus more on porn-related stuff in around err, book 15 onwards i think. i dont remember), which is one of the reasons i got so excited when my mouse clicked upon this book. i would love it alot if it’s like Anita Blake minus the porn. :)

and the next best thing have to be the NLB. -sigh- i have currently 6 books under reservation! teeheehee. gosh i’m so excited.

oh well, meet the nerd. -waves-

*

i’m being called BORING this week. perhaps i should start reflecting deep into the mirror at my inner self. it’s kind of insulting, if i had not known that she is kidding. what to do, there’s a big part of a loner inside me. i’m just not that kind of girl who everybody likes to get close to. i can only feel comfortable with certain people. i guess, weird describes me.

*

… also, HE ASK ME OUT!!!!!!!!!

sigh. it’s rather depressing that there are no new themes for me to use (unlike blogspot) unless i wanna steal one and tweak it to fit.

yes, you’re right i’m a teeny bit sick of my layout. is this one of the changes i would like for 2009?

Mmm.. i would really like to make a list of what i hope for in this new year. nope, resolutions they are not. i dont follow them anyway. i just need to make some wishes to brew some hope that they will come true, to make my life a tad less depressing.

(you know what really pisses me off? ..

1. when there are no auto-save functions in Blogsome and i badly wish for one.
2. when someone announces she is off to bed, and then 5 minutes later, comes out and ask to use the PC with a promise of "very fast one" which in the end stretches to half an hour, leaving me to sit at one dark corner like an idiot to fume silently. if you wanted to use the PC, you can tell me earlier before you decided to sleep, right? thanks to you, i have to re-write the post all over again. and no, i cannot save it in time because you come popping behind my back.)

okay, enough of fuming. i fumed quite easily at night when i’m struggling between the need to sleep and the rule that sleeping is a waste of time when school is reopening in a few days. (eww…)

as i was saying before the rude interruption - it’s officially goodbye 2008 and hello sweet 2009!

i’ve finished re-reading The Twilight Saga today. i think i love the books very much and it saddens me to say goodbye to Edward and Bella. even though i have to admit that some parts of the writing is rather teenage-fiction-y, i’ve grown quite attached to the story, and it’s difficult to see the THE END at the last page of Breaking Dawn - and then we continue on this small but perfect piece of our forever. it depresses me - sort of. i very badly wanna catch the movie again but the stingy angel in me decided that i would not waste money on a movie i had watched before (bloody recession). heeheehee. anyway, the depressed side of me have been picking up the books, flipping to a page and re-reading the bits and pieces all over again. i’m addicted, what can i say! -growls- i cant stopped myself.

i have quite alot of plans for tomorrow, hint: helping Gan-ma with the washing of dishes (bond to be incredibly sweaty) ‘cuz she is alone at the stall, and some shopping after that. hopefully, we have time to catch a movie after that! :) and oh yes, my hands are very itching to get The Host. 

a terrifying thought suddenly occurred to me while i was rolling on my Mum’s bed with baby boy while watching Little Mermaid, that first thing on Monday’s agenda would be Econs. bloodily horrifying bring-me-to-my-knees econs and i HAVENT HAD ANY WORK DONE YET.. since two weeks ago. uh-oh, i definitely deserved to be glared and screamed at by my caucasian lecturer now. he can be very intimidating when he wants to. -sigh- what a day!

speaking of 2009, by the way, i need a change. a good change, of course. wish me luck!

HAHAHA this cracks me up.