Dear Diary,

it had been an extremely brain-draining, mind-wrecking week. Pa’s first year anniversary fell on the 12th of october, which we had the rituals and everything done on a sunday and Ma says, now he is finally together with Grandma and Grandpa. it seems like i’m feeling sadder and sadder day by day. i cant forget. it’s too hard, too painful, it still is. nobody probably care enough, though consoling words is what i had heard enough. even J dont understand, he just laugh it off. perhaps he is trying to liven up the mood, to make me feel better. but of all people, i seek more consolence from him. i thought that him, of all people should understand. him, of all people should know what i need arent those words i heard everyday. him, of all people to hear me rant and allow me to. i guess, as we grow up, people who we always thought will stay the same, will always be there  - wont be there forever afterall. nothing last forever is the truest fact in history.

…

we finally finished our test this wednesday, and our econs’ results was out yesterday. a pathetic 8% was what i achieved for desperately mugging for the last few hours of the sunday. i did study econs on a normal days, but quantity doesnt always mean quality, so i guessed i have alot to catch up on making a strategic plan to study better in a short amount of time. i need progress, progress, progress! studying with the gang always doesnt seems productive, so recently, i’ve been heading off early to mug alone at Macs or BK. peace seems to find me only then. i like being alone sometimes, cos i realized how easily i can be influence by my peers. i’m not too fond of that side of me either, believe me.

caught Eagle Eye last week cos concidentally, i bumped into Pei and her friend at the bus stop. so together, we went to Starbucks where i met this crazy asshole who cheated me of my 2 bucks (which i can use to buy french fries ok), and amazingly (!!!!) i finished the tall Java Chips i’ve ordered. Java Chip is the love of my life. yum! afterwhich, we went to catch the movie which was rather A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! <3 another must-watch!

damn broke for words, rawr. lots of things to scribble, another day perhaps.

my favourite song this week. on repeat mode, yeah:

当你决定你要离开我
我没有说什么
就当作你自由
有好几次我都想挽留
哭求也没有用
就当作是寂寞
因为我能明白他的温柔对你是种解脱
就坦白告诉我谁是你的最爱
其实你很爱他对我的惩罚
说你没有想他是可怜我吧
我已没有借口只能放手
不敢奢求你说爱我
其实你很爱他他很温柔吗
其实你很想他就说出口吧
我已不想多说捂朵
不想再次听到你说你很爱他