I know that this world isn't always the safest place. I wanted to write this down, because we could die tomorrow; And you will never know, just how much you meant to me.

September 17, 2008

Missing Chunk

1. school is growing much much more tougher,
2. i’m back to contacts for the next 2 weeks so yay, but cleaning of lens took ten minutes longer than usual!!!,
3. i’ve been staying back in school to mug even though i have no more classes in the afternoon, but why is it that i feel no progress has been made?,
4. i’m decidedly happier today because i bought a top for 12 bucks with Jas,
5. i still feel left out in school,
6. though i still miss Z, but today, i sat on the bus, trying to conjure up past memories of both of us. but then, i realized, nothing much is flowing into my brain. it feels like i have forgotten a whole big chunk of our memories. is that a good thing? perhaps this is the ultimate proof that it was just a crush. i still hope to meet someone like him though. how are you, Z?
7. tired. i really really hate the sickening feeling of being left behind in a group of people. sometimes it makes me wonder if there’s anything wrong with my character, appearance, personality? am i not smart enough? not cheerful enough? not pretty or cute enough? not fun-loving enough? not lovable enough?

i shall not let these annoying tiny matters get me down. my life is perfect in the way i think it is. well, probably not that perfect, but i’m just about that contented, for now. yep.

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