weekends practically flew before i can grasp some relaxing moments. i’m not happy with the new tutorials arrangement, i’m scared of meeting new people of different countries, i’m irritated by the awkward silence that follows once i stop talking. i hate it that i’m trying to engage everybody in a conversation but nobody else makes the effort to continue it. it’s very very frustrating. why is it that the people i have to mix with are all like that?

perhaps i am the problem, huh.

tomorrow is another week, another stream of lectures that i must ace in. i’m thinking lots of study sessions by myself soon. i’m suddenly feeling troubled. but no point in dreading. tomorrow is coming soon. in another two weeks’ time, it will be my birthday and Da’s engagement party. should i feel excited? confused is more like it. but it’s something joyous isnt it? i want to be a control freak. but look at my messy bedroom, my unmade bed, our house piled with stuff everywhere, my lump of bags and clothes on the floor and on the bed. i’m not getting anywhere near. i’m sick of meeting and carry on friendships with people who arent worth the time. my life is in a mess, as usual. i’m going to the library more than usual, returning books when i had barely finished it. life is very very weird. i feel like i’m living another person’s life.

ok, enough ranting, get to sleep.