I know that this world isn't always the safest place. I wanted to write this down, because we could die tomorrow; And you will never know, just how much you meant to me. ♥
Disgusting If-Onlys
i’m feeling rather like shit tonight. it’s so horrible that i simply just flopped onto the bed the moment i took off my shoes - disgusting i know - but i dont care, really.
i hate conflicts, i hate it when i want to explain something but in the end, i cant cos the words just wouldnt pop out from my mouth - resulting in even more misunderstandings and disputes. i’m sorry, hey i’m just not that brave sometimes. when was i actually brave? indeed. question mark.
i hate money problems; but for the longest time ever, this problem has been tagging around, playing and repeating like a broken record. it never leaves, it just keep coming back. once bitter, twice shy, they say, i could feel the bite too, but it only sting momentarily, and i will forgot about it after some time. i’m so disgusted with myself.
have i mentioned? i hate myself, i really do.
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horror stories today, and i love these moments. coffee breaks, lunches, walks, talks, pokes, giggles, retorts, insults - i wonder how much i will miss it one month later.
the realization of school in aug strucks me now, i wonder if not feeling that excited is a sin. it has to be. and i’m such a sinner.
if only we can turn back time, ha.
he came to say bye and to sleep early, so that i wont fell asleep on the table like today.
POSTED @ 12:55 am | ♥ is the sum of all our choices
