to you:

you’re finally finally online tonight. but strangely, i found no reasons to click on your nick and chat. i dont know what to begin with.

hey how are you?
whats up on the weekends?

it all seems wrong.

well, i will see you tomorrow, and i hope my heart wont start thumping faster with joy.

in fact, it should have no reaction at all.

sunday - a day which i slept through 80%, i was only officially up at 6pm! applause everybody, for i am becoming more and more like a pig. :D

i’m feeling rather emo lately, especially in empty nights when i couldnt grasp what the heck am i being so emo for. i’m a lucky girl, i should be somewhere counting the nunber of my blessings so far, and not pulling my trademark black face on and expect something good to happen. when it wont. things dont happen just so you expect it to be. there’s no fairy godmother that would appear out of nowhere and sprinkle you with her fairydust. you just have to go and make it happen. - and i just happen to be the laziest girl in the world.

i feel that i must be a lucky girl though i had never feel that i was.

but of cos, if my complexion starts healing itself, i just might just start feeling that way!

sunday - a day which i slept through 80%, i was only officially up at 6pm! applause everybody, for i am becoming more and more like a pig. :D

i’m feeling rather emo lately, especially in empty nights when i couldnt grasp what the heck am i being so emo for. i’m a lucky girl, i should be somewhere counting the nunber of my blessings so far, and not pulling my trademark black face on and expect something good to happen. when it wont. things dont happen just so you expect it to be. there’s no fairy godmother that would appear out of nowhere and sprinkle you with her fairydust. you just have to go and make it happen. - and i just happen to be the laziest girl in the world.

i feel that i must be a lucky girl though i had never feel that i was.

but of cos, if my complexion starts healing itself, i just might just start feeling that way!

saturday (wonder how it doesnt feel like it was?) - i woke up to the yells of my dear sister and with the need to sleep more. i was exhausted, like i’m exhausted right now. i even fell asleep on the sentosa bus! nah, it wasnt that the trip was boring, in fact it was all nice and dandy despite the constant pitter-patter of the rain. we had good quality family time and this is truly love. we went to underwater world and dolphin lagoon and -gasps- i swear this is like, my only second time there?! thus, i was so excited :)

sentosa has one of the worse transportation around. there are endless buses to switch, train rides to take and long queues to bore ourselves with. and i think we’ve picked the worse day to go cos it was all infested with indians. i just think indians are jolly well the rudest creatures on earth. (no offence, but fact is fact) the way they acted in public simply disgusted me. just go and eat some shit la alright.

okay, disclaimer, disclaimer, i’m talking about those i saw today - ew, irky!

everything is perfect, from the food, chats, laughter, disputes, to the attractions. it will probably be boring if you went there often, but for something that i was only going for the second time in my going-to-be 20 years, it was great fun.

somehow, the missing part is you. i was trying to imagine you going with us, teaching xavier the names of the many sea creatures, piggybacking him on your shoulders, laughing along with us… but i just couldnt visualize properly.

i miss you like crazy, so crazy. 

alot of times, in the morning, i see her offering joss sticks at your altar. and then, i will feel the guilt cos i did that less frequently. but the reason was becos i dont think anything could replace the real you. offering more joss sticks every morning just doesnt help to wash the pain away.

; the second day without contact. somehow, it’s all false hope again. i just hope you’re well. okay, maybe only not well with her, not well without me.