sometimes i couldnt help thinking that i got a crazy sister.

**

suddenly, i’m missing good food. good, oily, fried food. yeah, go on, cringed at the unhealthiness. but it’s just a sudden craving, like how i was craving for a creamy milky bar last night. and i need to call my cousin badly. but look at the time now! it’s rude to call at hours like this. but okay, i will call her up tomorrow. these days, everyone had been swooning and tearing over the movie Sky of Love, and that makes me wanna catch it so much and shed a few tears myself hahaha.

today i was a better girl. i changed the bedsheets on both our beds (though i’m not sleeping on my own bed currently), and it was one heck of a dusty job to do it alone. then after, i folded the one basket crammed full of freshly-washed clothes. the smell of lemon lingers, and i loved smelling the fresh scent of just-washed clothes. but that doesnt means i liked hanging them. neither do i fancy doing housework much. it’s just that i’m the only person who is kind of shaking her legs now at the moment.. so i guessed, i have a duty. tomorrow i will be hanging the bottoms and cleaning the floor. hmm, probably.

the thought of going back to school and meeting sucky people, hanging out with sucky people and pretending to like sucky people just puts me off. whatever’s wrong with me? and no, i have yet to submit that application and i think i just made a friend angry today because i didnt went to submit the documents with her. hm, or was that my imagination working overtime? but i dont really care, believe it or not. i guess, that’s cos i dont fancy her much either.

somehow, i dont feel bubbly recently. and that three new spots of my face added to the proof that things are going downhill. these two weeks, i’ve talked to plenty of people everyday, trying to listen in all kinds of advices and adding them up to one final conclusion. today, i started again. it helps alot. it is really adding up, and the vision in front of me, or in my head is getting clearer and clearer. i can see where i’m heading down to. really. but after all those words of wisdom, somehow, i dont know what is what anymore.

i want to scream for help, to rely on something, be dependent on someone. but that is not the answer. i know for certain that for this one obstacle, only i can help myself, only i have the answers.

the question now is.. how?

 

"If there are three words to describe life, the three words would be: It Goes On."