Thursday is a really fruitful day because it seems like Mum and I went and run alot of errands. i managed to update my bank book, apply for the ib device, and even asked the citibank staff to help me photocopy my matric card and submitted the form to them - so, yay i’m gonna have my first credit card in 2 weeks’ or 2 months’ time! omg, i’m kinda excited! :)

we visited a few banks, buy pillows and comforters (imagine lugging back these fat load of stuff! sweat sweat sweat), buy pink and purple pooh bear waterbottles for $6 each thanks to Jas’s minitoons discount card (ooh i love minitoons and minibits! both one of my favourite stores!), buy Mum’s clothes and collected my new bag :D i love love it. (oh, somebody slap the grin off my face please - i’m getting more and more ridiculous! those bags are sitting on my newly clean up bed like.. a big pile of something.

but okay, nevermind, i’m getting rid of 2 of them!

what the heck am i sounding so cheerful and happy today?

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during lunch with Mum, somehow, we had a talk.. and then, tears just started falling. i cant hide these feelings, i cant pretend and suck those tears back in. i cant sit, eat, talk, dream, walk, do things and not think of Pa at the same time. i thought about him whenever and wherever and whatever. i miss him dearly, i wish, wish with all my heart that time would just reverse and bring back those days.. those complete days, happy days, bitter days, sad days, safe days, delightful days, days with him still here - getting nagged at, being nagged to, laughing at stupid jokes he cracked, retorting back at him when he teases me about my hair, my specs, my face.. those days whereby i often misused this god-send privilege and took it for granted.

oh arent humans just the most foolish of them all?

sometimes, i feel that my posts are always kind of repetive, going and droning on about the same stuff i say before, but who can salvage this? these feelings just kept haunting me everyday and there it will stay, swirling deep in my heart till one day i’m willing to let go. but no, i’m never letting go of them.

 

oh how much i love you

it’s only now, that i realized, that my love for you is just every bit as much and as deep as i love Mum. you two are like my right and left hands - i can never go and do without either.

it’s only just that i let those evil feelings and thoughts intrude into my brain, twisted and hide those good things and churned out the bad.

ha, if only; pity i never realized that. and it’s always that late.

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p.s. shut up, if you nothing good ever comes out from that smelly mouth of yours.