the night rolls around again, and arent this cycle sickening? i think it is. oh night, oh god i hate nights. nights are the time whereby my pacing slows down a little, my brain relaxes and shuts down for a bit more, and sad, sad thoughts just gushes in like a sudden opened dam. and now, the dam is opened and i got a little sad just now where i walked into da’s room, lie on her messy bed and tears just flow as i stared at the picture on my handphone. i miss you loads, it seems like you’re still here yet i cant feel you. i want to be able to, to raise my head in the familiar manner whenever i heard your familiar footsteps along the corridor, a cough, a loud jingling of keys.

but no, everytime i hear a sound, and when i raise my head frantically, my face will fall in the same fashion, ‘oh. it’s them.’

i’m still searching, i’m still waiting for you to come back home.

da just told me that the more you have dreams about someone who’s gone, it means that the person still longs for you.

.. is that true?

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i should go and study broadband but i’m still coughing like mad and the mood is no longer there.

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humans, oh arent we the strangest creatures.