Something painful, with remorse, regret, sadness and anger for feeling the way i feel
some days, whenever i thought about the past, you came into my mind.
and then, i would think, with this dull ache in my heart, oh why didnt i hug you tight enough the last time i’ve seen you? oh why hasnt i snuggle deeper into your arms, clinging to the last of your warmth, breathing in the hugo boss scent of yours? why didnt i cherish hard enough? didnt i tried hard to? oh why didnt i appreciate you more? didnt i tried my best?
it’s going to be 2 years, oh somebody kill me please and still, i’m not so over as i thought. i’m not strong enough to let go completely. i’ve never told anyone the leftover feelings i still had for you. they will sure to tell me, ‘oh how stupid/foolish/silly can you get?’ i dont need this when i know it myself.
and friends of course thought it’s very over. but nights like these, lonely nights like these, i dug up the past and buried myself in.

I know that this world isn't always the safest place. I wanted to write this down, because we could die tomorrow; And you will never know, just how much you meant to me. ♥


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