i’m thinking if i should wear my contacts tomorrow. i wore it on tuesday and it seems okay (choyyy) but boo for the dryness after a few hours. my left eye is so much weaker than last time and it sucks sucks sucksssss. :( so should i wear it? now that my hair is so freaking short and horrible, wearing specs seems to be making it more worse than usual. choices, choices.

i think i need some more control over my temper. someone told me the other day, surprisingly, after i seemed very frustrated: if you keep getting so angry and dont control it, sooner or later you’ll have high blood.

hmm, how interesting. i never thought my temper could be so overboard but trust me when i say i forgot these anger pretty easily. it fades, through no denying that the thing that makes me angry did happen.

-

it bother and disturb me in a way whenever someone tries to ask me out, insisting that i gave him an answer. it’s so pressurizing. what do you want me to say when i sound so hesitant? a teeny part of me is pleased and flattered that you still care and interested but, i’m feeling so demoralized now that nothing seems to matter.

what awaits tomorrow? you know what, i dont really wanna know. i wished i got one more day of MC.

no updates for more than a week and the first entry had to be a major ranting session. goes to see how sucky life had been so far eh. how about yours? definitely much better than mine, no bets needed.

one more week till the end of SIP. rejoice maybe? but holidays wont be a full one anyway, and i’m still learning to forgive and forget. maybe forgiving seems possible, maybe i’m too petty or whatever, but i will never forgot. each lesson learnt will make me stronger, more practical perhaps and makes people true colours shown more clearly. i truly wished this week could pass over quickly, and august 31 could come faster. i just feel like locking myself up in the house and busied myself with work. naw, what a loner.

i’m thinking seriously now that i might need to see a counsellor or something, soon. it’s depressing and i always have the tendency to make things more complicated than they usually are. my definitions of friends seems to be always changing, and i wonder, why things always takes a sharper turn after a soothing ride? i wanna understand you, be close enough to touch, to lean in someone when we talk, to laugh madly that our hair becomes messy. Missing You..

if these are the friends i have evolving around me right now, i rather have nothing. i rather let my ability of blending into the shadows takes over and be immense in my own world.

be fake, and i can be fake to you too.

-

i’m being a good girl now, on this MC day. i planned to finish my weekly report and start with the SIP report. life sucks, yeah but i will live.

you’re way too beautiful girl, that’s why it will never work. you’ll have me suicidal, suicidal when you said it’s all over.

i love your nick.

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password: