time is exactly 10PM right now and whee, i’m online, had a 02 mask which kinda smells like peach on and am now having difficulty typing while trying to keep my head up straight as possible so the watery mask wont slide off my face. yes yes, i cant type properly without staring at the keyboard okay? i just had a mini-mars bars and champagne grape green bubble tea and i just went to brush my teeth so i wont be tempted to sink my teeth into my 2nd mars bar sob. i cannottttttt, FAT ADDY, FATTTTT.

yeah.

TOTALLY SLACK DAY TODAY I’M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE, WE DIDNT TO A SINGLE THING, unless you count opening the project up in visual studio counted as doing something :D carbonara is ultra yummy today, the cream goodness, omgosh and it’s really hot for once. kudos! my lovely lunch, though we dont converse much as usual haha. (oh my, my saliva is threatening to drip down from the corner of my mouth because i’m trying to keep myself from twitching a single facial muscle - wrinkles, wrinkles!) and sigh! howhow tomorrow? and the team is going down to NUH for meeting on thursday - please pray that i wont be ultra late for work - and tomorrow dumbdumb miss long and mdm ng might be coming down to view our entire project? and well well, where is my sqlserver CD when i needed it da most? i think she forgot ‘cause she mentioned just now that she might go down if she is free.. hmm.. might? yay.

just so no mood today and my eyes kept blinking in the attempt to read the words off the screen of whatever website i was kpo-ing at the moment. but to no avail, mission fail, FLOP, i went to sleep. to sum it all, today is totally meaningless. i might as well stay home with my host club baby and it wont make any difference. sigh!

it’s really amazing, amazing. hey boy, why is it that you always spotted me in a crowd but i never did the same? and some more, why is it that you can read my expression and ask me why i’m feeling like that? bingo, you guessed things so correctly and it stuns me ‘cause we didnt really hang out much anymore, not like last time and i only know you for what, like a semester and a half? and yet, you’re so sensitive. "hey, why you look so disappointed when bus 8 comes?" you asked. i thought i got the emotion hidden, as i sat back down on the seats, digging for my earphones and stuffing it in, surrendering to the world of music. it surprises me, ‘cause i think no one watches me like you did. ever. it’s weird, it’s queer, it’s such a somewhat subtle and lovely feeling.

i think that one of the biggest problem about myself it that i’m never good at expressing myself. lots and tons of things were left inside my heart, locked and unspoken for the fear of something..? i even had trouble expressing my like for people blah blah. ‘i love you’ is such a hard word to utter, seriously. sigh. and unless i’m in a super moody and bad mood or something, those bitchy words remain stuck in my mouth too. i only used actions to show how much i dislike a person. why cant i say it out? why is this so so hard? are most people like me too? or am i the weird one around here?

right now, i very much wanna tell someone, ‘please stay, and wait. give me, give us a chance. dont backout just because i say so, cant you see i actually mean the opposite?’

HAHAHA.

i’m so pathetic sometimes, havent you realized?