aspirin&honey works so well together, hmmm. right now, i’m really hungry. soya bean milk for dinner, accompanied with a rainbowed donut to make up for the donut factory ones which i’ve never tried before. it wasnt very yummy though, and i was saddified! i cant wait to get my mouth on those hor fun and fried rice leftovers on the dining table, yum! but food would have to wait ‘cause i’m putting on my alternate days mask now and it’s lovely. honey, you like? i love thefaceshop pearl masks too, they’re soo soothing! tried one of da’s last night and i swear i’ve gotten fairer! HAHA, yay.

tomorrow it’s saturday and it gonna be both good and bad. good as school’s out for 2days, and bad ‘cause i’m working afternoon shift but i’m not gonna start complaining and whining down here like a kiddo as it’s my decision to put myself to such misery. so i gonna wake up at 10am tomorrow, have a nice breakfast and read my new fabulous book, The Book of The Dead, bathe at 1130pm and headed off work with a mission and a smile on my face. (i hoped) lets hope and pray that tomorrow i wont see any stupid annoying kiddos trying to destroy whatever they touched. usually i loved kids, especially cute ones but i cant stand the ones i’ve been seeing recently. Mother of child, could you please take the reponsibility of taking charge of those brats you’re bringing in? They kicked at the display table, the bras (yes would you believe), stomped around the window area which has a white floor thank you very much (you wanna clean?), tugged and pulled at the big and heavy poster that might snap and crushed on them and they’ll become pancakes and LS staff will to be blame ‘cause you might accuse us of not taking care of your kids. so please i hope you keep the leash tight, thanks.

today an annoying little girl keep touching the comestics on the counter, asking me,"what’s this", "whats that", and she almost drove me crazy that i politely plucked the body lotion out of her hands and said,"sorry" and put it back into place pointedly. she’s damn annoying! pardon me if you’re a great lover of little girls who has itchy fingers and likes to peek underneath the dressing room to see her sister trying bras, BUT I CANNOT STAND HER NONSENSE. and now, i’m known for my fierceness for naughty kids that whenever a kid is up to some mischief, my colleagues will go, "Adeline, go, you fiercer!" Aw. it’s funny, in some way watching them respond to your dagger eyes and polite words. gosh, on a side note am i really THAT fierce? hehe. kids, back off! cute&well-mannered ones are very welcome(:

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this week of school is terribly slacked. i felt useless when sitting beside the girls clueless at what i can help out with. which is tons but i dont know HOW. it’s pretty frustrating and i hate the feeling. we had subjects selection today and i was thinking, whats the point if i couldnt even pass this semester? but i choose anyway, mobile computing, broadband technologies, web services and gaming. all freaking electives that i hated but who says you can have choices in this area? ever since year1, i was stuck to this. and it sucks. to me, school seems more like an obligation than anything else. now. i just wonder how long i can withstand the stress of all this. we’ll walk together till the finishing line wont we?

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my n72 is still in a very much crank state. it’s quite troublesome to check my phone every few hours for messages and when i do see one, the message has been texted since hours ago already. check out with the handphone guy at eastlink and my beloved n72 is only worth 200?! it’s not even a year yet! :( and i’ve paid twice the amount for it. hit myself. so i either go get it fixed at nokia care, or trade in and get a better one. seems like unnecessary money eh? but my n72 is really my darling..

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chanced upon something super like me during surfing net in school:

"as we grow up, we learnt that the one person who isnt supposed to let you down, probably will, and the person you never thought would be there for you, is. you’re going to have fights with your friends, you’re going to lose some of your friends, you may even fall in love with one of your friends. you may eventually lose someone you loved and love someone you never thought you’d find. People are going to hate you, love you, love to hate you and hate to love you, but the ones who meant the most to will always be there."

how incredibly true.

today i met a friend on the bus. maybe i should have called her a "stranger" ‘cause we rarely converse. we see each other in school and sometimes, our eyes will meet and we’ll smile in greeting. other times, we simply pretended we didnt see each other and continue our ways. we’re just passing each other by. but she isnt a "stranger" as she is someone i know. though, barely. i know her name, how she looked like, could recognise her backview, called her by her names several times, had her number in my phonebook, and i even know her chinese name. i doubt she know mine though. i meet her on the bus on several occasions already but other times i just stood while she sat. but today, on the bus, i had to pick to sit at the seat where i’m surrounded by more empty seats. and when i saw her boarding the bus, she dont have a choice but sit next to me. smiles and hellos were exchanged, and i pick the conservation up by asking her about school and stuff. she replied with smiles. i smiled back in acknowledgement, going,"oh yealor yealor" every few seconds. then the conservation ended when i realized that i have nothing left to ask. and she kept quiet too. and then when it came to my stop to alight, we exchanged polite byes and smiles and just then, i couldnt wait to get out of the awkwardness of the situation. i wondered if that once upon a time, where i had the chance to spark off this friendship when it just began to grow, when i could seize those moments to know more about her, would things turn out differently? i would have gained a good friend, and her number wont be just a "empty" existence in my phonebook. and today i would have been so happy to see her than wanting desperately to alight the bus.

chances, sometimes we might be lucky and have a second time, but most of the time, we dont and something so precious might slip out of our fingers and before we even realize, we had become a "stranger" to the other person.

this is a repetition of my mistake. i have lost count entirely how many times it seems to happen. and i’m sorry.

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i think i saw someone i had once knew on the bus back to TM this evening. it was a quick glance, a flash of the image in the brain before i quickly turn away, alighted the bus and found that i’m walking faster than usual. i was afraid that it was really her whom i thought i saw. i was unsure. i was afraid that from the very brief moment our eyes met, i thought i saw a flash of recognition went through her eyes. i dont want to know. my footsteps quicken and i just wanna get away. i’m so afraid that she will call me by my name. i’m afraid of the consequences of it.

i’m sorry, friend, if it’s really you, i’m just not strong enough.