sometimes i think, i’m allowed to be mean, rude, hypocritic, selfish, jealous, envious, greedy, impolite, smug, sly.
sometimes i think it’s only fair that i get to say bitchy stuff, looked at people with my nose in the air, make fun of people, be crude and acted superior for a few moments.
sometimes, i just wanna speak without feeling any emotions so i can speak out my mind and not feel guilty.

sometimes i just wished i can be all those above, ‘cause it’s so frustrating being me.

afterall, i’m only human.

i’m allowed those, arent i?

hi, it’s a good day, world :D wild imagination, silly smiles, misses, music filling up the cool night air, and leaves were rustling in the background. thursday is just a good day - good sales that topped over 5000 and i’m proud to say i’m only responsible for the 500 of it =X, i had honey milk tea with jelly and lia treated me to a sugar donut, yummy! both lia and kakak got their hair cut and i was like, "wow" when i clapped my eyes over them, hahaha! lia’s had hers cut in a flyaway style and dyed it brown with green streaks! i totally admired the courage which i totally lacked. green hair, aye! she looked really striking at first sight but it just need some getting used to.. it actually looked weird at first though no way i’ll tell her that and hurt her feelings; i mean you normally dont do that do you? but after sometime of staring at her hair, i actually think it looks quite stylish :D nice on her! it makes me wanna pulled out my hair and do something about it.. and nahhh, i can NEVER imagine myself with green hair!

lunch was malay food yummmm, gosh everyday i must describe what i’ve eaten, musnt i? it sounds so boring :(! but my day was too dull to write in all glitter and glamour. it’s really really dull. :( work, school, and the pattern continues.. ARGH. moolahs are so frigging expensive. on a happier note, flora popped by to visit with her boyfriend :DD totally miss her! it’s like the old times.. (: i wished she come back, hahaha! ohwells. others got a bf to support them and i dont. bummerrrr.

sometimes, i think i’m really useless. i think i’m not a very good listener or a good advisor. when friends tell me their problems or called me to tell me what’s troubling them, i’m really useless and at loss for words. i dont know how to console them, make them feel better or what. what i can only do is to listen which is such a sickening and frustrating position to be in. why is it that i can never find the right words to say, to make them feel tons better, to tell them i’ll be with them all through it? why is it that after i hear their problems, it seems like my tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth and i’m clueless and speechless of what to say? i stammered which seems to make things worse. i’m frustrated and i hate this side of myself. it makes me so damn useless and ugh, I HATE IT! i’m such a damn lousy friend, useless too, and this feeling just sucks! tell me, being a good listener, what’s the use?

i feel so lost. >:(

somebody punch me please.

it’s a feeling so indescribable..

 

&& i miss you. your prescene is so very much missed.

sigh-ed!

i’m not in a very good mood right now ‘cause something i wanna get is sold out IN A SNAP ARGH!!! this is so depressing please. :(

today is kiwi last day and i shall be mean now and say i’m half glad, really really half glad. say byebye to getting pissed when seeing her yakking on the phone and not helping out, her moody swings, her "hey, can you help me do something..?", her bossiness and heck-careness and manymanymore!! :D gosh, i’m so mean, and she just say i’m her friend just now and insisted on taking photos with me which i objected strongly -so ugleee please :(((- gosh how can i be so mean? we got along well and everything but frankly, i dont really like her at first sight. but our friendship/colleagueship did improve greatly but not enough. well, i’ll miss her, it’s going to be different without her craziness, but i think i could do without it sometimes. damn, does this makes me a incredibly bad person?

heh, i’m so mean.

project is in progress.. but only that teeny-weeny bit. i dont know how, what am i gonna do.. if all of us end up failing.. i’m so depressed! anyway, recently i’ve been blogging in a very messy way which sucks. i wanna write long creative writing, put in lots of descriptive words and adjectives but most of the time i blogged at night so in the end i’m just too tired to. helppppp, i want a cup of warm mushymellows chocolate yum. i wanna cut my hair, do something about it, like rebonding it again ASAP ‘cause it’s driving me crazy that i have to pin up half my fringes every morning. it’s uglee and so ugly please. i’ve already made the decision to try out daily contacts but i’m not making any move on doing so. i’m scared. help. i have phobia helpppppppp. i need a brain wash NOW.

*just wanna crawl up into bed and pull the covers over my head till SIP is over.

so much words left unsaid. and i saw you today..

GOODBYE, I’M EMO.

i wonder i wonder, why i can never be satisfied?

Having it is not enough, i always want more.

and here’s something pretty random, mommy asked me just now: "why are you always admiring others? looks, etc."

you know what, Mommy? i wanna know too.

i think i should probably sleep in a few minutes’ time, do some homework (which is impossible), finished The Book of The Dead, or.. SLEEP.

yes, that’s what i should do. i must do.

on a quick note, i bought my watches today :D and we met xiao ah yi at WS hahaha, so funny, ‘cause i was complaining to her i want a bigger face watch but i had bought the one with the smaller face instead.. :( she and jas kept insisting that it looks just right for my wrist. but i think otherwise :( oh stupid me! i think tomorrow i’ll go get the white one with the BIGGER FACE, hahaha. i’m not looking forward to wednesday. empty weekly report, more stoning in front of the computer and more gibberish talks. sigh! i really hated this.

as i’m typing this, i wonder alot of things. like, for instance, why is she like that? pricking on my nerves.. >:(

you dont need to know who. okay, bye.

The Book of the Dead - FINISHED, and i’m a bit disappointed though.

the weather knows hows i’m feeling, she thought in surprise, watching the dark sky turned silver; silvery because a flash of light seems to remained fixed in the sky, making it look like the stadium was just beneath it and the entire sky just lights up. Aw, what a sight. it’ll be perfect if the rain rained harder, and the bright sky gleamed brighter, and the thunder roar louder. it simply describes her mood perfectly.

confusion, self-consciousness, sensitivity, these emotions are the culprits of her bitterness, sadness, all put together. it was very hard to understand, she doubt anyone could. how could they, she thought, when she herself couldnt even controlled and figured it out? she dont blame others, she really dont, but she just hoped mean words stayed away and she’s just asking for a little bit of understanding.., a little consideration, a little smilies and huggies and "icareforyous". she was so fed up with a friend somehow, that she just click the little x at the right side without even replying anything else today. she was rude, she knew, but she just think it’s easier to handle it silently, and not lashed it out at that person. there are many things she wanna say, wanna ask, wanna understand, but she is tired, so tired of question marks and misunderstandings that she suddenly couldnt be bothered anymore. school is stressing her out, work is making her more grouchy and sleepy, and everything seems pouring out at once, in all directions.

she hated it when people say something like, "it dont suit you" when you’re going shopping out with her, she really get annoyed by that. must i buy something that i’m always buying? she wondered. cant i buy something ‘cause i liked it and feel like wearing it? just because you like tank tops so you forever can only buy tank tops and nothing else? just because you like mee and hate rice means that you cannot try the latest rice burger? is it that she must always sticks to what she’s using, wearing, reading, doing - and she cant do otherwise because "it dont suit you"? 

it’s frigging annoying and she dont know why - cant she learn to be flexible and try out new things if it makes her happier?

she now admits that she is a very sensitive person. she might not look like but she is. she observes like every pore of her skin is open and reactions of people invoked her senses deeply. she can sense something is wrong, or just anything. most of the time she acts nonchalant and pretends that nothing is wrong, she hasnt hear/see that but most of the time, she did. she might act like she dont care but she’s actually just saving some room for her pride. ah, how strong her pride is, has always been. she secretly likes people coming to her for advices and she likes friendly smiles from people she dont really know.

it was so hard for her to understand herself.

today she was kinda happy. not very, it was too strong a word, but monday did feel good for a few moments. she had BK for dinner and the turkey bacon was good ‘cause it seems eons ago since she last tasted one. she bought a necklace but she wasnt sure if she likes it or not. she bought it simply to fill up some emptiness and because a friend said, "i like it, it’s unique", and so she handled the cash over silently, without even bargaining. which she regretted after stepping out of the shop and there she goes complaining,"i should have ask for 10 bucks!!" it was funny. and she walked and half-drag her friend into diva and saw many pretty trinkets that she likes. but how many necklaces a girl truly needs when she only have one neck? so she left the store and was back half hour later where she bought a rainbowed necklace that she really like and wow, it’s frigging cheap for only 5bucks. so awfully pretty, she couldnt stop smiling. she likes rainbows. it makes her smile. and her friend’s endless complains made her wanna laugh. they headed to topshop and she bought another top -on impulse- again. it was an investment, she consoled herself as she handed over her nets. she wanna buy a watch ‘cause damn, all her watches are failing on her. but she couldnt find any she truly like, so no watches today. so, her buys? 2 necklaces, a top and a eyebrow cutter. a total of 42 frigging bucks just wave and said byebye to her. let her know if you see any dollar notes flying past you with wings please.

and she was so so amazed and touched tonight the moment she saw mommy and was asked, "are you feeling okay? are you unhappy? ‘cause you told me you only like going shopping when you need a getaway and feeling unhappy. unhappy things must say okay?"

at that moment, she felt so happy she could cry. thank you, Mommy, she wanna say, you made my day.

on her way home, her right eyelid couldnt stopped twitching and she suddenly felt excited - will good things happen soon? and she hoped that those talk about "zhuo xiong you ji" thingy is true.

call her superstitious, but good things better start happening to her soon, yeah.

it’s so funny, i’m having this weird emotion right now, in the lab, the air con stark cold, the place awfully silent and i’m feeling lonely.

what a day.

Sigh. yeah, i feel like sighing now. how could other people’s lives seems so good and yummy and mine just pure boredom? why/how ah?

frigging jealous. ohwells, stop all this nonsense addy.

Comsumption of the Day:
chocolate&nut danish x1
sausage crossiant x1
raisin crossiant x1
chocolate muffin x1
sugar roll x1
lee brothers’ nasi lemak x1
honey lemon drink x1
chocolate eclair x1 -for kiwi
sugar twist stick x1 - for cat

omg, somebody shoot me please. i’m such a pigggggg!!! :(

before i go, i wanna complain something. imagine, early in the morning, you woke up, wanna get dressed, wanna spritz your hair, apply cream on your face, prep yourself up for work in YOUR room, and in the end you cant and have to use the toilet and risked getting your shirt wet. will you feel happy that your normal routine is ruined? will you feel happy that you have to lug all your comb, your hair spray, your cream etc etc into the kitchen toilet and prepare yourself? yes, i feel very happy indeed. i wished he dont always come to stay when i have to wake up earlier than them the next day. $*()&*^# it’s really annoying me! i cant on the light in the room, i cant do what i wanna do in the comfort of my own room would you believe. it’s like having your own space intrude and i dont like it a single bit. and when i’m inside the room, i have to tip-toe around somemore. last night, i was so pissed off with them switching on the air con and the fan at the same time that i used a little bit more force when i climbed onto the bed (my bed is doubled decker), making the metal shriek and creak more than usual hehe. and i accidentally knocked my piggy pig down smacked into his face bwahahaha. who cares, it’s dark and i cant see anyway :D

just so.. RAHHHHHHHHHH lah!

/edit

how could i forgot to mention? my darling phone is back and it’s in excellent condition! buy new phone! :D

OMG I JUST HAVE TO TYPE THIS ONE LAST POST BEFORE I CLICK LOGOUT!

3 OF THE BRAS I’VE RESERVED IS 70% OFF!!

HAPPY OR WHAT?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

saving $ never felt this good!

 

OGAY, I’M CLICKING LOGOUT! :D

Did I mentioned that The Book Of The Dead is realllyyyyyy godamn(just an adjective) gooodddddd?:D i’m luvin’ it!

p.s/shit, why am i still here?!?!

i really hate to read your blog. ‘cause i see no me in your posts, in your life. but i still keep going back for more, once every few days. i still care how you’re doing, but i realized that most of the time i dont really understand what you’re typing about. and i think, that’s because we’re just like 2 parallel lines, and you’re passing me by so incredibly fast.

i’m still your friend. will you still be mine?

 

p.s/i should really stop being paranoid. it’s tiring. very.

hmm, what should i write for this new category?

oh yeah, i would really like a skinnier body please.

i’m fat and it’s only that no one thinks so. %^#&*$@!

the irony of life sometimes is that you recognized people who once had contact with you for weeks but after a few months had passed, you still recognise them but they dont. you’re forgotten, end of story.

and today this happened to me. i’m the forgotten one, of course. the moment he entered LS with his girlfriend, i found him incredibly familiar, and i’m sure that’s not because i found him cute but ‘cause i saw him before. i think i knew him.. but for the few minutes, my mind just couldnt registered where i had seen him before. in the movies, tv? is he a star? i wondered. though i was busy attending to customers, once in a while, my gaze will fall upon him again and i’ll frown in concentration, trying to remember, i was so sure.

then i remembered, killiney.. he work with me before. but he dont remember me.

but nah, it’s a good thing, ‘cause he wasnt counted as a friend anyway. what will you call it? ah, an ex-colleague.

just one thing - the world is so small.

*

i would say that today is a good day, a fruitful day filled with happy hopeful thoughts. fruitful because my sales figure topped over 1000 which seems so rare these days.. weeks.. and i think i deserved a pat on the head for getting back my old record. it seems ages i hit such a figure. :) motivation was in today and i finally went to repair my n72 at nokia care. it’ll be back tomorrow! yayness, and i’ll have a new upgraded phone:D but the battery cover cost around 30bucks so expensive!

i think i’m going to go get the green tea perfume. it’s soooo nice:D and i’ll smell good!

on a side note, i will have cornflakes for breakfast tomorrow and i’m putting on the pearl mask now. it smells soooo nice!

it’s 1153am and i still haven bathe.

cornflakes, anyone?

you got to be chocolate and i’m caramel, ‘cause we go so well together! mars bars we loved dont we?

aspirin&honey works so well together, hmmm. right now, i’m really hungry. soya bean milk for dinner, accompanied with a rainbowed donut to make up for the donut factory ones which i’ve never tried before. it wasnt very yummy though, and i was saddified! i cant wait to get my mouth on those hor fun and fried rice leftovers on the dining table, yum! but food would have to wait ‘cause i’m putting on my alternate days mask now and it’s lovely. honey, you like? i love thefaceshop pearl masks too, they’re soo soothing! tried one of da’s last night and i swear i’ve gotten fairer! HAHA, yay.

tomorrow it’s saturday and it gonna be both good and bad. good as school’s out for 2days, and bad ‘cause i’m working afternoon shift but i’m not gonna start complaining and whining down here like a kiddo as it’s my decision to put myself to such misery. so i gonna wake up at 10am tomorrow, have a nice breakfast and read my new fabulous book, The Book of The Dead, bathe at 1130pm and headed off work with a mission and a smile on my face. (i hoped) lets hope and pray that tomorrow i wont see any stupid annoying kiddos trying to destroy whatever they touched. usually i loved kids, especially cute ones but i cant stand the ones i’ve been seeing recently. Mother of child, could you please take the reponsibility of taking charge of those brats you’re bringing in? They kicked at the display table, the bras (yes would you believe), stomped around the window area which has a white floor thank you very much (you wanna clean?), tugged and pulled at the big and heavy poster that might snap and crushed on them and they’ll become pancakes and LS staff will to be blame ‘cause you might accuse us of not taking care of your kids. so please i hope you keep the leash tight, thanks.

today an annoying little girl keep touching the comestics on the counter, asking me,"what’s this", "whats that", and she almost drove me crazy that i politely plucked the body lotion out of her hands and said,"sorry" and put it back into place pointedly. she’s damn annoying! pardon me if you’re a great lover of little girls who has itchy fingers and likes to peek underneath the dressing room to see her sister trying bras, BUT I CANNOT STAND HER NONSENSE. and now, i’m known for my fierceness for naughty kids that whenever a kid is up to some mischief, my colleagues will go, "Adeline, go, you fiercer!" Aw. it’s funny, in some way watching them respond to your dagger eyes and polite words. gosh, on a side note am i really THAT fierce? hehe. kids, back off! cute&well-mannered ones are very welcome(:

-

this week of school is terribly slacked. i felt useless when sitting beside the girls clueless at what i can help out with. which is tons but i dont know HOW. it’s pretty frustrating and i hate the feeling. we had subjects selection today and i was thinking, whats the point if i couldnt even pass this semester? but i choose anyway, mobile computing, broadband technologies, web services and gaming. all freaking electives that i hated but who says you can have choices in this area? ever since year1, i was stuck to this. and it sucks. to me, school seems more like an obligation than anything else. now. i just wonder how long i can withstand the stress of all this. we’ll walk together till the finishing line wont we?

-

my n72 is still in a very much crank state. it’s quite troublesome to check my phone every few hours for messages and when i do see one, the message has been texted since hours ago already. check out with the handphone guy at eastlink and my beloved n72 is only worth 200?! it’s not even a year yet! :( and i’ve paid twice the amount for it. hit myself. so i either go get it fixed at nokia care, or trade in and get a better one. seems like unnecessary money eh? but my n72 is really my darling..

-

chanced upon something super like me during surfing net in school:

"as we grow up, we learnt that the one person who isnt supposed to let you down, probably will, and the person you never thought would be there for you, is. you’re going to have fights with your friends, you’re going to lose some of your friends, you may even fall in love with one of your friends. you may eventually lose someone you loved and love someone you never thought you’d find. People are going to hate you, love you, love to hate you and hate to love you, but the ones who meant the most to will always be there."

how incredibly true.

today i met a friend on the bus. maybe i should have called her a "stranger" ‘cause we rarely converse. we see each other in school and sometimes, our eyes will meet and we’ll smile in greeting. other times, we simply pretended we didnt see each other and continue our ways. we’re just passing each other by. but she isnt a "stranger" as she is someone i know. though, barely. i know her name, how she looked like, could recognise her backview, called her by her names several times, had her number in my phonebook, and i even know her chinese name. i doubt she know mine though. i meet her on the bus on several occasions already but other times i just stood while she sat. but today, on the bus, i had to pick to sit at the seat where i’m surrounded by more empty seats. and when i saw her boarding the bus, she dont have a choice but sit next to me. smiles and hellos were exchanged, and i pick the conservation up by asking her about school and stuff. she replied with smiles. i smiled back in acknowledgement, going,"oh yealor yealor" every few seconds. then the conservation ended when i realized that i have nothing left to ask. and she kept quiet too. and then when it came to my stop to alight, we exchanged polite byes and smiles and just then, i couldnt wait to get out of the awkwardness of the situation. i wondered if that once upon a time, where i had the chance to spark off this friendship when it just began to grow, when i could seize those moments to know more about her, would things turn out differently? i would have gained a good friend, and her number wont be just a "empty" existence in my phonebook. and today i would have been so happy to see her than wanting desperately to alight the bus.

chances, sometimes we might be lucky and have a second time, but most of the time, we dont and something so precious might slip out of our fingers and before we even realize, we had become a "stranger" to the other person.

this is a repetition of my mistake. i have lost count entirely how many times it seems to happen. and i’m sorry.

-

i think i saw someone i had once knew on the bus back to TM this evening. it was a quick glance, a flash of the image in the brain before i quickly turn away, alighted the bus and found that i’m walking faster than usual. i was afraid that it was really her whom i thought i saw. i was unsure. i was afraid that from the very brief moment our eyes met, i thought i saw a flash of recognition went through her eyes. i dont want to know. my footsteps quicken and i just wanna get away. i’m so afraid that she will call me by my name. i’m afraid of the consequences of it.

i’m sorry, friend, if it’s really you, i’m just not strong enough.

OHMYGOODNESS, i just spent the past 2hours tweaking this damn template ^&$!@!##@ ‘cause of the stupid errors! i got lots to blog but i cant, all time wasted on this plain layout. but but, i like it! :D more amendments need to be made of course but it’s looking more&more towards the ideal one i had in mind.

gosh, mom’s screaming, got to go, bye!

If you want me
You gotta be true
So what does that means
About me and you?

On the first note, I still think I’m not cut out for LJ :( The codings, layout is pretty hard to edit. Either it turns out all wrong and is ugly, or it turns out right but it’s not the layout that you wanted and it’s still ugly. Arghhhh! I’m not patient in learning, seriously.

I think I still prefer and love blogsome - the best. :)

*

I quite love lunch today, we haven eaten bee hoon for ages, and the heavy servings never changed! I guess that’s ‘cause bee hoon are pretty cheap? :D I’m so happy that mars bar did nothing to tempt me to buy it today at bkshop. I totally need a rest over chocolates and sweet stuff. I have to!! And.. I got another new book to feast my eyes on :D - Size 12 is not Fat.

My n72 is cranky out on me. What do you call a phone that does not beep when it’s suppose to when a new sms comes in?

Damn, I have no spare cash to buy a new phone if there needs to be.

I love you phone, please come back :(

*

hey friend, somehow i’m still not very used to the fact that the distance between us is growing longer. today just proves it all. i felt sick in my head, in my stomach that how awkward and wrong the situation was, and felt. what gives? probably it’s only me who felt this way again. probably, you’re too happy to notice. friends, friends, friends, i think i dont understand. jealously or envy? you take your pick ‘cause i cant decide.

if only things arent so complicated.

*

It’s Thursday already.

hello there, i have a lovely time today with missy qiqi, squabbling and gossiping rubbish. ah, yes how i have missed it. been such a frigging long time since we last catch up and i’m glad and happy that things hasnt change a single bit. i like it how i can talk rubbish to you and how you (sometimes, haha) could relate. i love it how i can talk to you about everything under the sky and how endless those talks were; how late we stayed till 11pm just to sit and talk rubbish. :) with the wind on our faces and the stupid train zooming above us, hitting us with small drops of water in the process somemore! haha!

it was a great day yeah.

shrek3 is OMG GOOD, watch it if you haven please :D sadness that what i previously wanted to watch, zodiac, is no longer screening except vivo. boo-ee! and since both of us wanna catch something, shrek3 it is. much better choice than men in white DEFINITELY! not much of a choice, frankly. :( and did i mention that i just love movie commercials? it’s so excitingggg to see new adverts of coming-soon-movies! makes me happy :D i love the characters and i’m amazed at this movie’s ability to make me laugh like a crazynut. cinderella, sleeping beauty’s stupid "sleeping" stunts :D, snow white’s bird dance, rapunzel’s bald head, shrek-so-cute-ness, fiona-so-brave, pinochio’s chatty breathless speech, the frog king LOL, the cute authy prince etc etc! ALL MAKE ME SHAKE AND GIGGLE AND LAUGH LIKE CRAZEE  HAHAHAHAHA!

hello!!

today i’m a total and absolute pig. i missed the me who likes picking on her food rather than eating them, the me who always left half of her food untouched on the plate and says, "i’m full.", the me who hates lunches and dreads them; but that me has disappear and in replacement, a greedyyy me has emerged gobbling down bites after bites. and some more. UGHHHHHH, FATFATFAT!!!

Morning - Milo + 1/2 of a ba zhang shared with Mommy<3 + ham&cheese sandwich during morning break

Afternoon - fish&chips + milo + mini mars bar (SUPER GOOD AND OH-SO-SINFUL LAH )

Dinner - Mos burger set, salsa&chilli chips

UGH! UGH! UGHHH!!!

from now on, i’m gonna curb my eating fetish and start to control every bite i’ve taken!

yayness, jump-around-ness, my grey skinnies has arrived :D! it’s still a wee tight canyoubelieveeeee! i hope that after washing and wearing a few times, the material will loosen abit or you’ll see me walking funny and not be able to stretch up my legs high! like climbling the stair, etc. :( bummer, i’m really FATTTT. i’ve eaten so much today and i’m having gastric ever since shrek3 finished. super pain and uncomfy! :( i think there’s alot of air inside my tummy, it hurtssss!

warm milk to the rescue but i dont feel like having any.

ugh, let’s hope either it’ll get better, or tomorrow it’ll be so bad that i can take mc :D

i cant decide which i like more, realllyyy.

darn, wouldyoulookatthetimenowwww! —>1:48AM

nightcap!!!!

Not a bad day at all:) Except for the no-motivation to do work thingy all 3 of us caught and girls(!!!), we got till wednesday. It’s DO or DIE. UGHHHH.

I need coffee, but I drank the mocha can one last week and I have to pee umpteen times in the end. Not very funny to keep clicking the door switch, hearing the door SLAM after you, walked a few rooms away, walked the few rooms back, tapped the card on the reader, and open the door, and hearing the door went SLAM again! Hmm, but coffee kinda perks me up. Some kind of pyschological effect? Hoho!

One thing that I totally hated, I realized today was coming out of a super-brr air-conditioned bus, and having the lens of your specs all misty and cloudy. Ughhhhhh, can I repeat, I totally hate this! It’s so unglam, please. And having your vision blocked the moment your feet left the steps is totally soooo damn annoying. And imagine me, digging my tweety bird cloth out of my bag and then, taking off my specs and cleaning it. Oh-my-god. The image, oh horror, horror! This have happened to me a ZILLION times. I going to avoid taking bus 518 even if it kills me. *whines* !!!! I WANT CONTACTS!!

Oh yayness, on a happier note, I’m off work for 2days! Happy or what? Muhahaha! And I know tomorrow is going to be a good day despite feeling like shit early in the morning and facing the computer every second, and feeling crappy and lazy ‘cause we refused to use our dying brain cells and conquer our homework. Whatever, it’s yayness! :D Catch me at my joyous mood tomorrow!

My teeth is gonna rot soon. :( Indulge on jellybeans and malteaser chocolates after lunch as I was feeling sicky and it was an attempt to arouse some taste in my mouth and awaken the happy cells inside me. BUT, after popping what seems like 3/4 of the jellybeans and 1/2 of the chocolates later, IT JUST WONT WORK. Bummer, my teeth is paying for this, all for nothing! I knew I should have chose lemon ricola sweets and a mars bar or m&m’s instead! >:(

So far, I’m into only the 2nd chapter of A Place Called Here, ‘cause I bu she de read so fast hahahaha! Later finished fastfast, end up nothing to read again? The feeling sucks. But reading slowly sucks too, bleah.

The feeling that I wanna puke is still there. :(

And I just had my dinner/supper and I’m gonna get real fat soon.

Wish me luck!

 

p.s/ I’m not in my bestest mood right now because just when I was happily tearing the roll of Ritz Cheese Crackers open which I’ve bought to salvage my hunger just now, I realized that I had bought the wrong thing. No cheese inside!!! Rawrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Today I dropped by Sans Bookshop after work because I was desperately craving for a good read, and I’m too lazy to go library and settle the wayyyy overdue fine! =X

And guess what I’ve gotten? :D

I’m so happy! It’s a book I’ve been eyeing ever since it’s release earlier this year. Isnt the cover pretty? Cecelia Ahern has to be one of my absolute favourite writer and I had finished reading all her previous books! Very fairytale feeling, and it aint a romance all the time, it’s more to that. It makes me think. I love her If You Could See Me Now, a totally different romance book I had ever read. Now, I cant wait to finish this! :) Heh. A Place Called Here, oh wow.

Morning shifts I loved. And today, I waited for an hour -AGAIN- for Kiwi to come. The other time I waited for the same amount of time was when I’m doing morning with Kakak. But the difference between the situation of these two was that after almost an hour, finally sick of standing like a dork soooo long, I called Kiwi and guessed what?

She’s sleeping. And yes, she only woke up when I called her.

So that means IF I never called her, I wondered what time will she wake up? *muse*

AHHHH, IF ONLY I NEVER CALLED HER! :D Hahaaha!

So I went to buy breakfast at four-leaves and even went macs to buy coffee for her. I’m so nice, it disgusts me sometimes.

-

I’m really proud of myself today for shaking off the temptation of a mars bar during lunch. Arghhh, so tempting ogayy! Then I remembered the high sugar content and the makes-you-swoons sweetness inside, and with Kiwi nagging beside me that I’m a student and cannot afford such indulgences blah blah, in the end I put it back on the shelf *weeps*

*pats self*

But but.. it’s reallyyyy good!

and extremely unhealthy of course, ughhh.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DADDEEE! :D

in the end, no Ajisen. :(
I owe you&Mommy one ogayy!

Hmm, I’m having problems starting this post, haha!

Writer block NOOOOOOO. :(

My grey skinnies still havent come yet. Almost a week already! HELPPPP, I got this bad feeling that it’s lost through the mail. ^*#$%@!

Yay, tomorrow I’m gonna knock off at 6pm, and I’m going dropped by Chomel and Perlini Silver to look for nice slivers! :)

And tomorrow’s Father’s Day and I was actually going to treat Daddy to Ajisen ‘cause he mentioned that he had never eaten ramen before. But Mommy’s not free tomorrow and I was wondering, would it be weird to dine with Dad alone? We had never done it before. *pouts*

The sky outside right now sounds just like a lion roaring deep in his throat.

I seriously dont know what I’m typing about.

Oh yaaaa! Just now, Kiwi and I was leaning on the counter, taking out our reserved items and counting how much it totaled up.. and would you believe mine is over a hundred bucks?!?!

AHHHHHH.

I need to work moremoremore!

and I so badly wanna go shopping. Retail therapy always cheers me up. But seriously, almost everyone is too busy for me.

Boyfriends, work, school, too lazy, boyfriends.. etc.

:(:(

I got lots to say but suddenly, my brain seems distracted and stuck. Oh wells. I’m more interested in tweaking this template.

Oh, and about the password protected posts, dont bother with them. They’re simply gibberish and not worth reading.

Sometimes, I dont understand how some people can be so cowardy. Ya, I know I’m a coward in some ways but do you believe there are even some others MORE cowardy than me?

It makes me go *#$%@!

But I must think in their shoes, think in their shoes, think in their shoes..

-

Seriously, I got sooooo much to blog about here, but whenever I started logging in, clicking WRITE, all inspiration just flew out of my head and in the end I was just staring at a black screen, with the cursor blinking, clueless what to write:( I wished I had a super-memory!

Today is a good day. Okay, maybe I should feel a teeny bit guilty that I fibbed about the i-got-school-stuff-and-couldnt-work lie, but the thing is, I dont! :DDD In fact I’m super duper happy yay!

Caught Fantastic 4: Rise of the silver surfer with Jas today; The show is okay, but it lacks and need more action. The plot seems to simple and abrupt.. :( I like the silver surfer, heh, he’s adorable! In a silverish way.. The part I heart most is when they combined their powers to Fireman and he kills Dr Doom off! Real cool. I like the Rock too, he’s cute-ish! :D If anyone has watched the show, could you please tell me did the silver surfer die in the end? It’s confusing meee! And I heard some guy saying in the cinema,"See, he didnt die? He’ll probably join the F4 and become Fastantic 5!"

0.o Alriiightttttt..

And we had haagen daazs ice-cream! The guy working there was so uber friendly, too friendly for our liking, being sooooo polite and kept asking if we want another scoop, or want to buy their packaged ice-cream home, and he stood by our side during the entire time we were at the glass fridge deciding which to pick. erm, cant he left us alone? There are people behind the counter already what! But I think he stood the whole time beside us, till we went to the cashier to pay (he was the one who cashed us), so I think they have commissions. Hmmm.

-

Work.

Yesterday, kiwi informed me that she is leaving soon.

"Huh, to where? Why?"

"I got a better offer, tender my resignation already!"

"Ohhh? What job, what job?"

"Oh, modelling lahh!"

*I started thinking about the flabby tummy she has, doesnt models need to be toothpick thin? She’s tall alright, but.. model? Ermm..*

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." i BELIEVE OGAYYY!

In the end, she started laughing like mad, and point to Kakak saying, "She asked me to bluff you one! HAHAHA"

me: -.-

But she’s really leaving TM LS lah, transferring to PS one. Hmm, I dont know if it’s a happy or bad thing? We do talk, shriek, laugh and have quite a fun time these days..

But then, she was never a friend, like she said the other day,"Friends called each other frequently to say "Heyyyy, how are you!!" and stuff, go out together, but we dont." Acquaintances she meant? I agreed.

**a while later when I walked pass her**

Kiwi: "Hey! I just now stand outside the door and I click the remote control and it works leh!!" She told me excitedly.

Me: "Really?!?!"

Kiwi: "…."

Kiwi: "HAHAHAHAHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Darn, I was tricked for the 548121215 time already!!!! TELL ME, WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN?! >:(

-

Rawr, I got sooo many freaking shows to watch!

• Huan huan ai
• Wei xiao pasta - watched till the 10th episode! stopped since school starts
• Zhuan jiao yu dao ai - watched till the 10th episode! stopped since school starts
• Zhong xia summer something..

ARGGHHHHH, NO TIME NO TIME!! I’m quite fed up really.

I want a break, I want holidays, I want to sleep the whole day.

Dear girl, can you please dont spend sooo much? :(

-

Alright, I’m gonna start trying to tweak the template :)

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"Take any emotion - love for a woman/man, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions - if you dont allow yourself to go through them - you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief, you’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails."

But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in all the way, over your head even, you experience it fully and completely, you know what pain is. And only then you can say, "Alright, I have experienced that emotion, I recognized that emotion, now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."

Yay, the mask seems good :D!

School - INCREDIBLY SLACKED

I slept, I (almost) drool, eat my favourite fish&chips at The Designer (seriously GOODD), increased hits of almost all websites/blogs I knew, slept somemore, go for one toilet break, restlessly click on our website codes but dont know what to do, flipped through library books for inspiration, and lastly pray incredibly hard that she wont come knocking the door!

That pretty much sums up my Monday.

Lately, I have been doing lots of stupid things at work:

1) At the fitting room area, instead of handling the bra to the customer to try, I handed her the hanger.

2) Unturning a box full of rubber bands onto the floor for the sake of putting ONE rubber band back in.

3) Dewi found the CD Player remote control, so she proclaimed."Yay! Now we dont have to click the buttons on the player already! Just used this!"

So, I thought, wow, so good ah?

"WAH, dont need open the door also can click? OMG SO GOOD! It can sense it through the door?!" (the player is inside the store room)

Them: "…."

Them: "Of course must open the door lahhhh!" (guffaws loudly)

.. and from that day onwards, they’ll hand me the remote control and say,"Hey Adeline, just take this, stand there, and click play okay!", and collaspe into laughter. Or they’ll demostrate themselves.

Oh Poor Me. T.T

4) Shit, there’s still somemore I’m sure but I’ve forgotten about it!

-

I loved the song Missing and Hello by Evanescence. Damn emo, I loved it.

Hello

Playground schoolbell rings, again
Rainclouds come to play, again
Has no one told you she’s not breathing?
Hello, I’m your mind, giving you someone to talk to.. Hello..
If I smile and dont believe
Soon I know I’ll wake from this dream
Dont try to fix me, I’m not broken

Hello, I’m the lie living for you so you can hide..
Dont cry..
Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping
Hello, I’m still here, all that’s left
Of yesterday..

Missing

Please, please forgive me,
But I wont be hone again.
maybe someday you’ll have woke up,
and, barely conscious, you’ll say to no one:
"Isnt something missing?"

you wont cry for my absence, I know-
you forgot me long ago.
am I that unimportant..?
am I so insignificant..?
isnt something missing?
isnt someone missing me?

even though I’d be sacrificed,
you wont try for me, not now.
though I’d die to know you love me,
I’m all alone.
isnt someone missing me?

please, please forgive me,
but i wont be home again.

I know what you do to yourself,
shudder deep and cry out:
"isnt something missing?
isnt someone missing me?"

and if I bleed, I’ll bleed,
knowing you dont care.
and if I sleep just to dream of you
and wake without you there,
isnt something missing?
isnt something…

Go listen!! Seriously good.

-

Shall end this post with the Happy Things That Makes Me Smile(:

 

Looking at them seriously makes me smile again, wahahahaha!

Thanks once again for this cheer-me-ups, friend! :D

*

Isnt someone missing me? :(

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Password:

I’m curious about how the answer willl turn out, so decided to give it a click :D

And here goes the answer! Heh.

Yay, I’m shy!

=X

Somehow, I’m being labelled the "Change-the-Dirty-Mop-Water-Girl".

I was asked to change the blardy grey mop water today. AGAIN. Didnt anyone realize I had change the mop water the other time? And the time before that, and the time before before, and the time before before before that? Whatever happens to fairness? I know I should say something but being grumpy and snappy about such untrival matter seem to put me only as a petty person.

So, I decided that I shant be nice anymore. No asking if you guys want anything during my break, or helping you have it’s suppose to be your job, or mopping the floor AND vacuuming when there’re only a part-timer me and TWO full-timers at work - one of you should either help to vacuum or mop. ARGH, it’s time I learn the word LIMIT.

Okay, enough ranting, work’s not THAT bad. yet.

-

Saw Mr Caucasian-Look-Alike begger today sitting at interchange’s mac hungrily biting on a mac apple pie. I was shocked to see him sitting in one of those metal chairs the moment I started looking for his shadow when I alighted the bus. Hmm, somebody has perhaps give him money, or buy him the food?

Bought a pair of Fox’s pants after work :D Damn, how I loved sales! Especially when they are 50% off! How can anyone resist? Hahaha! Yayness, and Lia was so nice to wait for me to try it. :) But I got to hide it away from Mom for the time being.. or I can assure you my ears will not have any peace for the rest of the month. She had been nagging at me for DAYS!! :(

School tomorrow, work tomorrow, oh yay. :D

-

If you can find a reason to be unhappy, why cant you find one to be happy?

-

-I miss you- leh..

Shoutout of the Day: Sigh, I wanna go shopping! :(:(

But no time, no time! Work and boring school has eaten up all my free time. ARGH. But I shant complain right now. SAVE, ADDY! SAVEEE!! $_$

Work’s fine today, yesterday Cat was on MC again because of her sprain and I was so flustered that it was Kiwi and me again. Not that we dont get along well - we do pretty much in fact can laugh and insult each other now - but it’s not easy doing closing with 2 person! Plus the VISA machine cropped up problems and it was only 1130PM that we could close the system. I’m so sad that I decided not to buy Mac’s vanilla milkshake before work. It would have cheer me up greatly!

Loads of fun today, with a little bit of piss-face me during closing but I shant elaborate. =X 

And I’m happy because Jes and my aunts came to visit me and buy some stuff :D Yayness! I loveeee.

-

I found myself observing my surroundings recently in Tampines Mall area, and to my great sadness, I discovered alot of people begging for money. One that totally makes me wonder is this bald cascausian-looking guy with this long long white beard, kneeling on a cushion in the middle of the interchange with both of his plams cupped together. That was today. I saw him doing the exact same thing, in the same position in front of the MRT yesterday.

What makes me ponder was..

What was the man doing there?
Has he become so desperate as to kneel in front of the busiest place, attracting gazillions backward glances from passer-bys? I even saw a elderly woman stopped beside him and talked to him! And I saw him telling her something before I finally managed to tear my gaze away..

What a sad image.

From the walk from interchange to TM itself, every turn I took, I’ll see a sad image.

5 steps, a man with no right arm and leg, sitting on the dirty floor with a container to put money in.
3 steps, a old woman sitting in a wheelchair selling sweep tickets.
4 steps, a Malay woman with sad eyes sitting at the corner outside the MRT.
2 steps, an old man playing his er hu, a container by his feet.
1 step, ahhhh that same middle-aged, quite nicely dressed woman whom I always see around TM, going around to random people, begging them for money, telling them she got cheated etc etc. To date, I think I saw her thrice already.

And sometimes when I knocked off after work, very often I’ll see this mother holding this little girl’s hand, going about the MRT area asking people to buy tissues. The little girl is very young, and she was hugging a teddy bear.

Aw. :(

What a sad world sometimes it appears to be.

-

I actually got lots more to say but work tomorrow! So, it’s time to put the night cap on :)

Something totally random, Ah Mei’s Ting Hai touched me tonight.

I should be sleeping, turning in the earliest possible in a mission to get rid of these nasty black eye circles I have. :(

But these days, a day without blogging means the next day my unhappiness will double two-fold. Ugh, ugh, ugh! Darn the unhappiness. Dont I deserve to be happy, for once?

Happenings before lunch..

And so I was feeling real shitty this morning and CR came to chat with me. Probably seeing how shitty I was feeling, he asked me to click on his blog… and he succeeded in making me laugh&laugh&laugh. Real funny pictures! Hahahaha! I forgot to save them in my thumb drive, so I’ll do that tomorrow and post it up here! It’s damn funny in damn lame terms but who cares? It cheers me up :D! Thank you, CR!

KH started grossing me out with his sudden fascination with turtles soup. Super gross OKAY! I cant imagine drinking it, much less EAT it.. and he happily proceed to show me a website about it and there was this picture of the soup itself! Ew, yuck, the turtle is this blackish thing, and he went "yum yum!". I was totally,"OMG LAHHHHHH YOU GROSS ONE!" Then we continue talking mindlessly about my hatred for mayo and how I feel like puking whenever I smelt it and he went,"Okay next time I shall chomp something with mayo in front of you." Evil or what? "If you dare eat in front of me, I’ll puke on you!" I shrieked. Okay, I didnt exactly shrieked but somewhere along the line..

Lunch was Jupiter Cafe’s Chicken Leg Pasta and rum&raisins and cookies&cream ice cream after that, and I was complaining what an another bad mixture it was. (I had complained about yesterday’s) He started laughing and laughing away and screaming I made him laughed like crazy. Eh, very funny meh? Lol.

Kit came to play Bejewelled with me again but the window came up and I started playing ASAP because I diedie also wanna win (I lost yesterday because I dont have a winning start) but ARGH this time he dont know busy with what, he didnt play at all! Then come and ask me to play for what? >:( So in the end, me-19990, him-0 :D Yayyyyyy. Robin came to play with me too but somehow the window stuck and couldnt load. Wahaha!

-

Today is damn suayness. The first time ever I wanted to call in "sick" for work and Cat have to sprain her back first. :( So off I dragged my ass to work and it wasnt that bad. But what exactly is fatigue? Now I have no feeling at all.. brain’s in a mess. Tomorrow reporting again! I’ll survive Friday, Saturday and Sunday! I must! :(

-

Thought quite alot tonight on the way home.

Funny how friends was, some people you thought you could never live without. Yet, somehow, you could. Life still goes by. You still missed those friends of course. But a new thinking had emerged going, "Hey, I’m actually getting used to living life without much of your participation."

Do you get these feelings before?

And what do you called those people who you had known for the longest time, and once in a while will meet up, but in between the time you last meet up and the next meet up, there are not much contact at all?

-

He wasnt online today. :( BOOWOOHOO-HOO.

and I’m just too chicken to text him!

Glamourous Sky

when i swing open the window i saw the deep sky dancing wildly in distance

ah look up

what meaning is there to do the same routine everyday

ah i scream out

i jump and go

in my worn out rockin shoe

i leap over a puddle

flask back

you were so clever

ah remember

i want to cross over the rainbow and get back to that moment

where we walked as we stacked up our dreams for the future,those glamourous sky

is there any value to a love that you given up already

ah i greive

spit it out,and go

i slurpe down this rock and roll

i’ll retreive that battle

flashback

oh your favor

ah remember

i long to gather up all the stars and decorate my heart with them

ah those glamorous dreams that we connected and we danced together

glamorous day…

i can’t sleep on with this

sunday,monday…

lightning on tuesday

wenesday,thursday…

snow flakes

friday,saturday…

all the colours of rainbow everyday

the full moon wavers away

answer my voice

i want to cut through the clounds and watch over your future

i will gasp on to my dreams and walk ahead alone in these glorious days

i want to cross the rainbow and grt back to that mom

where we walked as we stacked up our dreams for the future,those glamourous sky

GLAMOROUS SKY…

Today is a very contradicting day.

One minute, I was feeling awesome, satisfied with my plan of being happy. I, Adeline, pledged to be a happy girl, my nick said. But the next minute, I was feeling sick with everything. And plus the effect of a very inbalanced meal that makes my tummy feels really uncomfortable, make that a very grouchy Adeline.

Whats wrong with me? I was so sullen, sulky, grouchy, grumpy and frown-ish that my colleagues at work grew fed up (I think) and decided to leave me alone after showering me with questions like, do you wanna go home? are you okay? etc, etc. And what replied them was my stony face. Argh, even I cant stand myself, how could others?

To sum it up, today is one of the worse days I had this month. I dont even understand myself anymore.

What do you want? What do you want exactly? My inner voice was shouting in frustration.

I dont know, Another screams back.

This is really tiring..

I’m beginning to lose myself.

-

Some days, funnily enough, the moment I come MSN, windows will start popping up and blinking at me.

And today was one of those wow, one shot so many? days.

Very soon I was talking to 10 people. Yes, at the same time.

And I would like to say something to a few of them here,

To Friend 1:-

"I wanted to tell you guys.
But always never bump into you."

Your these words hurts me. Somehow, when it comes to making pretty important decisions, you had chose not to seek my opinion or even just casually tell me before I had to find out myself. Never tell me because you never bump into me? How about a message? Or a call? That will do just very nicely. What really hurt me was, I’m no longer "one of them" anymore. Whatever happens to friends forever? And I have to be the one who come and ask you myself. It takes 2 hands to clap, you ever heard?

I dont understand.

To Friend 2:-

I just wanna say thank you. When I’m feeling the most rotten, the most unconfident, and the most unsure, your words bring some spark back into my soul. Yes, it’ve been a long time since I last spoke to you face to face. Part of me is avoiding you. Dont ask me why.

"You still look great as ever."

To Friend 3:-

I like it when it feels like the same old usual days whenever we talked. Some stuff just came naturally and it feels good to talk to you, properly for once. Though no goodbyes. AGAIN.

"You eating lollipop is it?"

"Huh, no ah.."

"Really? Today you sounded so nice and sweet."

:)

To Friend 4:-

I typed something in notepad after you said your "I have to go, cya!":

"I miss you a little I dont know why. After you log off and said your goodbyes abruptly, I just continue staring at your window, scrolling down the things we talked about (your camps, music, food, school, plans for the future), desperately wanting to cling on to a part of you. I dont know why this feeling is coming down so strongly, like this strong strong taste of yearning buried in my heart. But I could feel you slipping furthur and furthur from me somehow.. and I’m afraid.

These days I find myself waiting for your frequent messages of smilies and sweet askings, but it had been a while since it comes. And when I see your nick popped up today, this little heart of mine jumps a little, faster, then faster. Could it be?

I waited for a while to see if you would come and nudge me like you normally would, once. But you didnt. Not this time. So I took a deep breath, and clicked your nick with fear, hope, and excitement bubbling inside.

"Is that you??"

"lol, of course it’s me. Who else?"

"Now it’s only MORNING leh!"

"Oei you saying I normally pig is it."

I’m sorry if you dont seem to feel the same way anymore..
I’m sorry..

But this yearning of mine had become so strong, a heart expecting something.

How funny the way it had been the other way around, once.

You chasing after my footsteps, trying to catch up with me, and how I had avoided desperately as I’m afraid you’re just like one of them.

I run, and you chased.

Ah, the smile in your voice when you spoke. I loved that feeling. Fuzzy, exciting, warm..

Is that feeling you had lost forever, still in you?

Now tell me. Whichever normal guy would ask a girl out again and again after being rejected and stubbed for a 1547892th time?

Is that feeling you had lost forever, still in you?"

-

Big hearts to Mommy love! Thanks for tailoring my pants for me, muacks. Thanks for following me and asking me questions non-stop the moment you see my sulky face, muacks. Thanks for scooping the bowl of yummy soup for me, muacks. Thanks for bearing with me and being so concerned when no one cares, muacks. I love you, I really do so much.

And I’m sorry for being such a bitchy daughter.

Will tomorrow be another cloudy day?

I just think that Mary-kate and Ashley are totally hottt! :D

I especially adore this pic:

Like, really sweet and give me this faraway feeling.. So sweet lah! :) But this picture is so damn hard to fit into the layout. :(

Today was a rather productive day, heh. In my terms though. Upload image page is 50% successful, hooray! So now, Dayah’s can work, Ping’s can work and mine too! But but, there are so many buts. We need to connect to each other PCs which is so far, very very unsuccessful. And we need to store the link into the database and I’m confused on how that’s gonna work. Not only that, there are about 12478598 more things to do but we are unsure of what yet. About 60 more days to go! Lalala. HELPPPP.

I’ve finally invested in a pair of black office pants. Reason being, work is ruining my black skinnies, loose threads, furrings and all, sob! And $23.60 for a pair of black pants that I bought solely meant for WORK ONLY, is it very expensive?:( To sooth away my guiltiness, I decided to pretend that it’s only $15! :D And an investment some more..

Nowadays, I’m taking such a long time just writing a blogpost. Ughhh!

Yesterday, I dropped by Cheers to run some errands, and I stopped at the books section for the longest time, pinning whether I should get John Grisham: King of Torts. I quite like his books and I havent touched anything read-worthy for a few months already and my hands are itchy for something to hold and lick my eyes over. But in the end, I didnt get it. I scared it’ll be a waste of money! Though John Grisham has a fine reputation.. Okay, this is something so random.

I need new good reads.

-

Long bus rides are usually where I think. I love the feeling of sitting in an almost empty air-conditioned bus, so cold that the water vapour glistened on the windows and it feels so comfortable to prop my elbow on the window ledge, with my chin resting lightly upon my thumb and watched the world droned on beneath my feet. And this is when I think. Sometimes, I dont even think. I just shut my mind off, with the ipod’s volume to its maximum my ears can bear and just gaze out of the window, and I felt calm and serene.

But these days, I realize it’s been quite some time since I had these bus rides due to the existence of a work schedule. And that I worked at tampines. *pouts*

This evening, I saw a beautiful sun set which I hasnt seen in a zillion years. Though, the stupid buildings blocked half the beauty of it, it’s still very, really amazing. The colours just burst in its pinkness and orange-ness, dazzling me for the moment before the bus turned the corner.

I loved the sun rises the most. I remembered the last time I’ve watched a sun rise properly is when I’m still in primary school. Pasir Ris Park Chalet, we sneaked out when everyone is still snoring beneath their pillows and we went to the beach to witness the splendid rise of the sun. And it got me speechless. Ever since that day, I’ve never watched a sunrise. I guess it never really comes to my mind. But I love the feeling of waking up to see the birth of a new day, when the world keeps calm and is still asleep. To feel the wind lingering at your cheeks, stirring your hair. That’s when I feel the most alive. And I can almost feel the wind whispering at me as I wrote this.

Something so amazing and yet, so indescribeable.

"Hey, close your eyes."

"Ah, why?"

"Just close your eyes."

"Butttt, why? What will I see?"

"Stars."

-The first kiss.

Something totally strange, new, awkward, scary and equally heart-racing at the same time.

Hey there, what’s up? Hows life? Tell me.. I wanna know everything. :)

"You seems proud just now.. The Adeline I know dont use to be like that."

This statement makes me ponder. Sulked. And ponder somemore.

The thing is, cant I have my moments too? Must I put on a happy face when I dont feel like it? Would it makes you feel better if I pretend my moods whenever I’m around you? Would it? Would it? Would it?

Doesnt everyone have a moment when they dont feel like talking, or making any conservation and prefer very much to sit at a corner and watched TV in peace, in silence without any disturbance? Dont tell me you dont have one of these days too. ‘Cause I know you’re lying.

I’m sorry she came at a time where I arent feeling the greatest and the most sociable.

Partly reason because I thought I’m going to watch pirates tomorrow night but someone doesnt want to. Nahhhhh, it’s okay. I watch it and I only wanna re-watch it as I think it’s damn nice. But it’s okay, I’ll just come home and sleep.

And so, my mood got affected after I woke up from a little nap. Why does things always turn out wrong whenever I’m off and home? SOOO dont understand. :(

Anyway, I’m afraid that I’ll lose this one day due to my messiness so I’m penning it down :)

A friend that sticks closer than a brother

Dear Adeline!:)

Had a great time studying with you today! hee. I understand that studying process is especially tiring and sometimes boring… BUT, dont give up alright? Like I said, JIA YOU! Before you know it, the tests/exams will be over (yay!) and sometimes, impossible is actually IM,POSSIBLE. I believe that it’s really possbile to do things that are seemingly impossible:) Have faith in yourself!

Maybe sometimes, life is making us tired, or too weak to go on.. no matter what happens, I just want you to know we can be more than cousins:) treat me as a friend. Let’s share each other’s burdens!

I believe in friends doubling joy and halving sorrows:)

Take care, my friend.

Hang on all the way for your tests! Keeping you in prayers :)

-a short, sweet note given by a dear someone during the last semester’s exams <3

Sigh, I’m having so many bad hair days recently and it’s really very $#%^&@!

School tomorrow! And we’re so gonna get slaughter by Mdm Ng and Ms Know-It-All early in the morning.

=/

And, reminder to self!
I’m never ever gonna eat Yoshinoya again on weekends! NEVERRRR!

Money (+)
Teriyaki sauce, chicken (-)

Teriyaki bowl + Peach tea = $7+++ (o_0)

Somemore no criss-crossed fries.. I’m so gonna stick to student meals now!

 

hey, i feel..

Hmm. I’m reading a phrase from If You Could See Me Now, and it reminds me so much about myself.

If you cant put magnolia on a wall, then there are always a million other colours you can use; If you cant pay your phone bill then just write them letters telling them. People forget they have options. And they forget that those things really dont matter. They should concentrate on what they have and not what they dont have.

 

How very true; I really think so.

Mac’s shaker fries ROCKS MY SOCKS! Heh heh heh. Have you tried it yet? :D

Yes, I’m finally freaking home. Long long day, but as usual, no matter how work pissed and infuriated me, at the end of the day, I still accepted it all.

Doesnt everybody?

At work..

"Yes yes yes, it’s 50% storewide."

"I’m sorry, all the sizes are on display already. If not found there, means OOS."

"Thank you! See you again!"

"Uh-huh huh huhhhh."

"Oh you dont want these? Okay!"

"Please give me a minute.."

"Sales will end 1st July. Whilst stocks last."

"Sorry, during sales we cant check other stores’ stock. Too busy."

"I’m afraid there are no new pieces, All is on display!"

"Oh you hold on, I’ll check stock for you!"

"Hellllo! La Senza Express! This is Adeline speaking -"

"Storewide, Mdm. Uh-huh."

"Hi! How is it?"

"Do you know your size?"

"Low rise ah..? Have have.."

"I’m sorry I cannot hear you?"

Wait, there’s more. But I’ve forgotten hehe.

But I lost count how many times I repeated the above sentences sounding very much like a broken record. Water please!

Family affairs is running really smoothly nowadays. I’m really happy being at home. I missed leaning lazily on the tore sofa flicking on my favourite TV channels. How long ago was it really that I used to do that all the time? I cant remember. I cant remember staying at home on weekends with no plans or whatsoever, just simply doing what i felt like doing at that point of time. But I think things changes as you grow up, it always changes. You’ll start to feel that you have more responsibility to piggyback and there are no excuses for you to act like you dont know anymore. Or maybe you started wanting more things and in order to get them, working is a must.

I’ll say, "That’s your choice, that’s Life."

And and, I’m off on Monday and Tuesday! Muhahahahaha!

Oh man, this is call JOY.

MAC’S SHAKER FRIES ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!! :D

x

When boyfriends start to take over good friends, what’s the term for it?

Next to the best damn thing have to be coming home sticky and tired, and finding two chocolate muffins leftover on the dining table, the box high on top of a few containers stacked up high to avoid ants’ unwelcome intrudence. And then having your mommy waking up just to see that you have reached home safely and telling you she has left a bowl of yummy noodles for you.

Oh, what sweetness.

I washed up very quickly because dawn was nearing, and the every next day (which is now as I’m typing out this), I’ll have to be at work at one. Ate the delicious noodles and finished the gooey goodness of the chocolate muffin. I’ll get fat at this rate I tell you. But who can resist the temptation of not one, but TWO yummy muffins? I couldnt, and somemore, there are two left! Ha! Ha! Ha! Yum, licks fingers.

Now that Friday had disappeared around the corner, and Saturday is here, I started to look back at the days of this week and realized how little recollection of what I had done all week. The most vivid details were memories of work. But for school, I almost dont remember anything at all. Funny, isnt it? I think I hardly done anything for the 8.5hours spent in school everyday. It’s like, I’m wasting these precious time away, rotting, day-dreaming, sleeping, snacking.. and hasnt been doing anything worth writing into our weekly report. SIP ends faster please. I dont think I can take it any longer. The feeling of being "locked up" in a cold box and all that surrounds you are machines and machines, stoning in front of your PC and getting backaches and eye-strains for looking at the glaring screen for too long and worrying that your supervisor might pop up anytime to check up on you with no warnings at all is really horribly frustrating. Everytime I fall asleep, I got jerked awake every few minutes. Not jerked up my anyone mind you, but by my own fear and nightmares. Sounds so terrible doesnt it?

I’m living in a place so seemingly like hell for the past few weeks and I’m not sure how long my sanity can last.

I just cant wait to breath the outside air whenever I went into the lab. And the only thing I saw whenever I looked up was the tiny square windows on top with the clouds in view. So like a prisoner.

I feel.. trapped.

I’m so not happy these days.

I want to feel lighthearted whenever I stepped out of the house in the morning to school.
I want to feel perky and the eagerness to meet my friends.
I want to feel a smile curling from my lips whenever I breathe the fresh morning air.

But it’s all not happening.

I could only feel dread, fear, unhappiness, loneliness..

Dread because of school..
Fear of not able to accomplish what we’re suppose to..
Unhappy because no one at school truly understands, as they’re too happy to notice your unhappiness..
Lonely because all I have is work, work, work..

And I’m missing my old layout already.